It has taken me years to love who I truly am and I’m still learning to love all aspect of me. Including the aspects I’m still struggling to change like my weight but I’m getting there. In a few days I will share my 21 Days of 21 Days. I’ve made great progress and I’m continuing on my journey.

It takes a lot to love every part of you. We allow others to get in our heads to change our view of ourselves, we allow our past to dictate who we think we are or suppose to be, we let society define us well, we let labels classify, and the list of definitions go on.

Who are you exactly? Are you what people think you are? Or are you just a human being traveling this world of life trying to figure out what the hell you are suppose to be doing here?

Lol. It doesn’t matter what you think or what others think. It doesn’t matter the journey forward or your horrible past. All that matters is, when you’re present you love who you are in all of its entirety so that you can love others equally.

Namaste

Keena's Moments, Reflections

Love Who You Are

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It’s not easy to trust someone when the trust has been broken. How do one ignore what was done, when they was lied to right in front of their face?

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I can easily forgive but I can’t forget. It’s hard trusting someone after the trust is broken. Especially trust in a working relationship.

Have you ever had this issue and how did you handle it?

Keena's Moments, Reflections

Trust

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Is Honesty the best policy? I hear they say it is. People would rather you be honest than lie. I like honesty because it allows me to learn more about myself and be aware of things. At times I may not like the approach or the delivery of the honesty but I respect it.

This past week I’ve been very honest with a lot of people in my life. It’s seems that honesty from me is not what they’re use to hearing. Well I think it had everything to do with my delivery. I really haven’t been delivering my dose of honesty nicely. It’s because I’ve been frustrated and emotionally overwhelmed. When you’re everyone’s go to listening person, everyone dumps their stories onto you forgetting that you have feelings or maybe going through your own personal dilemmas.

Not one person truly asked me if I was okay and if I needed anything in return. I have to either post something on social media or say I’m not doing so well. I don’t get the check in, they way I check in on them. Its always about their story and what they are going through. When I reach out no one truly listens. I get ignored and it’s frustrating because I give the same people my undivided attention no matter what. I’m the bad guy right now because no one is really talking to me at this moment and I’m okay with it. I feel like I need a break from everyone in my life at this moment. I need to create the balance in my life and the silence will do it.

I keep a lot in and I normally don’t express my feelings fully. I think that’s what is hindering my personal and professional growth. Expression. There’s so much that I want to say. I don’t say it and sometimes I do say but the wrongs ways. I’m learning more and more each day. It’s not that I don’t know how to communicate I think it’s the feeling I get when I do communicate that no one is listening. If the people Near me doesn’t listen. How do I get others to listen? 🤔

Something to think about. In the end honesty is always the best policy. I think it’s how you approach and speak your honesty. I apologize to those who I may have offended but please understand that I’m not your Personal therapist because it’s my profession but I am your friend. So treat me as such the way I do you.

Now that I got that off my chest. Happy Monday Everyone.

Be Honest in Your Way as Long as Your Honest with Yourself.

Keena's Moments, Reflections

Honesty

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This Quote resonates with Me.

I realized that it’s not about my surroundings. Its me. I’m thinking I’ll be better off changing the things and people that I’m around but I must change myself.

As a therapist I tell clients and friends all the time, take yourself out of the equation and meet and see the person for where they are at. No one is the same nor think the same. So we have to be willing to remove self to truly see people for where they are at.

I’m guilty of not seeing people for where they are at all the time but I am learning to. Everything is a process.

Blessings. Just my thoughts 😊

Keena's Moments, psychology, Reflections, spirituality

So I Am Changing Myself.

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When growing  up you learn how to make patterns. You learn how to make simple patterns to complex patterns. You make short patterns even long ones. You make extended patterns and even make a new pattern.

What’s the use of patterns? Think about it. 🤔How often do we use patterns? ❤️💙❤️💙❤️

Does the knowledge of patterns prepare us for the patterns we endure in life.

Now in life we experience patterns. We experience many patterns. We can go through simple patterns like the ones we learn in school and this can consist of our thinking, daily routines , how we handle small situations, and the little quirks about us. Then we have our more complex patterns and these patterns, are our relationships, money, and life. The complex patterns happen as we get older. We can choose to add on to these patterns, omit from them or create an entirely new pattern.

These past few months the theme around me seem to be breaking and creating new patterns. I’ve been breaking patterns and habits and so have many of my friends as well as clients. I’ve found that many people repeat patterns because the outcome is always the same making it familiar and easy to manage. Some people don’t want to break these patterns because of it’s familiarity. What is familiar, helps us feel safe and secure. It’s because we know what’s next.

I use to love familiarity. Always knowing what was happening next helped me be in control. So repeating wasn’t so bad as long as I knew the outcome and I was in control. However, I realized it was a problem, because of this pattern I didn’t know how to adapt to new things being placed on my path. I’d have panic attacks and start thinking the worse possible things ever. I’d cry for days, wanted to be alone, and didn’t know how I was going to adapt. I realized that I needed to change and to learn new patterns of thinking. It all started with my thinking. Once I changed my thinking I changed my patterns. I added and omitted what was or wasn’t working. I felt like a new person. I love change now and love creating new patterns.

There are some patterns I still repeat because I haven’t quite changed that part of thinking that controls this particular behavior. But once I change my thinking, I will create a new behavior and then add to my pattern.

Some patterns are okay to repeat but it must be healthy patterns. Understand that Opportunities may be missed if you stay in a pattern because of its predictability.  If you want change, change your patterns that causes unwanted behaviors.

psychology, Reflections, spirituality

Patterns 

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So over the past months now. I’ve been  making necessary changes to my life and routines. I’m eating clean now, working out more, meditating daily (sometimes I don’t because I don’t make time for it but now I’m back on track). I’ve gotten my hyperthyroidism together so now my focus back. When my levels are up I lose all my focus and become really irritable. My heart rate is always racing, pressure is up, and I’m mean as all hell.

My heart rate when my levels are up. I know not good at all. I was just sitting down.

I’ve been stable for the past five months now. I truly believe it’s due to me reducing what causes me stress and changing my eating habits. My skin is clearer

I have a lot more energy and I feel like my old self. I’m praying I can continue my progress. Let me rephrase that, I’m confident I will continue with my progress. This is all a part of my growth.

I know many do not agree with me stopping all of my medication but I have not needed them and have chosen a holistic path to my healing. I believe that this was the route for me to go being that during the time the doctors was suppose to give me radiation to shrink my thyroid my blood work can back normal so they did not need to give me the radiation. They can only give you radiation if your level as are high. My levels in a matter of a few days normalized and they explained to me that, that what happened to me has never happened before so I’d said it was definitely a sign.

I’ve read and heard many horror stories about having the thyroid removed and getting radiation. I was advised not go to through with it but I thought maybe I should being that I couldn’t control my symptoms. It appears the universe had a different plan for me. I’m glad things worked out the way they did. My doctor wasn’t too happy. He wanted me to still take medicine when my levels wasn’t up. The Physician assistant was trying to talk to him and tell him that he should allow me to go an all natural way if that’s my choosing being that research shows it can go away naturally. He was not having it and neither was I. I haven’t been back since. I only see my primary doctor now. He listens to my concerns and allows me to take the best approach for me while monitoring my health.

Make sure you get a doctor who listens and not tell you what to do.

I’ve also stopped putting harsh Chemicals in my hair. I’m all natural. No more relaxers that will fry my scalp and brain. 😍.

Relax vs. Natural.

I’m loving the skin I’m in.

Keena's Moments, Reflections, spirituality

Naturally Me! Getting My Hyperthyroidism Under Control.

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Keena's Moments, Moments, Reflections

No Word

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I’ve decided to write Justin short letter picture quotes from me. I would like for it to be some thing that he can read throughout life to know my thinking process as his mom and to use it for encouragement when life gets the bear of him. Life wasn’t always easy for us and to this day we still have our moments. The world around us seem to be cruel and unfair to those of color. Some may not agree or thing so but it’s the truth.

As Justin watch the news he have questions that are only right for him to ask. Why are things so unfair for those who are black? Why are so many black people being murdered by cops? Why are black people judged so much when people of other races can do the same thing we do? The list of why’s continues. Some days I have straight forward answers while other days I don’t because I get frustrated having to explain to my son that life isn’t fair to people of color due to history. Some history isn’t told accurately while others is. I also explain to him that just because society is filled with greed, hate, and people’s need to control. We don’t stoop down to ignorance because we are better than what we are hated for.

Despite, what I say the world displays reasons why he should still question things and be mindful when he leaves the house, because life just isn’t fair to blacks no matter how free we are.

Happy Reading Justin.

Autism, Keena's Moments, Reflections

Dear Black Son

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For the past four years I've known I wanted to pursue my Doctorates just haven't quite made the time for it. Now I have made the time and will be making the resources available for myself to do so.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice the little things in order to get to greater things in life.

At this moment I'm applying to school and taking the necessary steps to get to my next level. I know I'll get there. It's just a matter of time. My goals is to complete my Doctorates by the time my son graduates High School. I know it's a goal that's going to be a challenge due to my schedule but it's a goal I'm willing to put to the test.

I will do this and give it my all.

Future: Dr. K White

Autism, Keena's Moments, Reflections

I’m Ready

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