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My sister is living in her purpose and has become a photographer. Today Justin will have a photo shoot with her capturing all of emotions he goes through throughout the day. I didn’t tell him about until Just now and boy oh boy I can feel the anxieties flowing.

He’s like:

What is it for?

What do I have to do?

Is this for the blog?

What emotions should I do?

I’m sure in his mind he’s really like, you pulled me out of Band practice for this! When I told him it was for a project, he said okay. But I can still feel his anxiety. I’m very mindful of what I say and how I say things to him. I don’t dismiss my emotions because I’m entitled to feel the way I do they same way I allow him to express them.

On another note. Wish us Luck! Today will be a great day because I Believe it will be. 😊

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This is my painting. It doesn’t have a name. It started out as a flower and then it ended up this way. I was reflecting and painting based off the day my client had.

My client was really stressed out after school. So we decided to paint a picture. It helped my client calm down and open up about their day. My client really enjoyed the activity. I did have something else in my to work on but sometimes you have to improvise and go with the mood of the day.

My client felt better and open up like a Butterfly 🦋…

Here’s my client painting. Titled: “Lines”

Happy Friday Everyone!!

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Today, We decided to food shop, clean, relax, play games, go to the movies, and do lunch. Which won't be all in that order but it's going to take place today.

He's so much taller than I am. I miss him being my size or smaller. I'm glad he's back home. I've missed him being home. He came back a little anxious about school and friendships but we worked out his worries. I make sure I make it easy for him to come to me with anything he has going on in his mind. I try my best not to be his therapist but be his Mom with a lot of understanding.

He appreciates it. I'm glad my own personal and professional growth has changed me enough to be a better person for him.

He will always be one of my reasons why I do what I do. I love being his Mom 😊

The Emoji Movies was good. Go Check it out.

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I can't believe in a years time Justin has grown to be my height all the way up to a few inches shy of his fathers height. The doctor did say that Justin would get taller but I thought I had some time being that boys stop growing at 19. Also, because Justin was my height, I knew it's going to take some time for him to get taller than me. It didn't dawn on me that it would happen in the matter of minutes. This time last year Justin was 5'3 1/2" now he is roughly 6'0. That's a lot of inches in one year. I swear I wanted to cry because it seemed like I was buying new clothes every other month. Thank God, his feet didn't grow much 😊.

Check out his growth. Justin with his Father.

Jan/Feb 2016 June 2017

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Speak up for those with no voice.
Speak up for those with a voice
Speak up for this who are defenseless.
Speak up for those who need you to speak up for them.
Speak up for change.
Speak up for Self.
Speak up for Family.
Speak up for Friends.
Speak up for Strangers.
Speak up for what you Believe in
Speak up for what is not Right or Fair.
Speak up because it's the Right thing to do.
Speak up because you Care.

There are times when we see or hear of things happening and we just walk by. We even continue with life as if it never existed. When we know what is going.Don't just let things happen to you, family, or strangers. Speak up. Someone may need you to be there for them.

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In life we get annoyed by the little things when we should appreciate them. I'm learning to appreciate every moment and experience I encounter whether wanted or not. Saturday night I received a text from an ex and he wanted to know what happen, and why we didn't work out. I stated what I believe went wrong and how I felt throughout the relationship. He immediately got defensive and told me that I was wrong 😤. Communication was our biggest issue mixed with our egos. Boy oh boy! We'd say how we felt never really listening to one another. It was like being in a constant war from sunup to Sundown. It got to the point to where I never wanted to be home, never felt appreciated, my self esteem was lost, and I lost all sight of who I was meant to be.

Having this discussion with him brought back so many unwanted feelings and memories. It was one of my darkest moments. I never thought LOVE could have you feeling so HATEFUL and HATED. I hated who I was while in this relationship. I did everything in my power to save my relationship with him because I wasn't getting younger and everyone around me was either married, dating, and in a relationship. So I dealt with it. Because I needed to fit in and was worried about what people will think of me. I stayed in a unhealthy situation that caused me to go into depression. I never thought about myself. It was always about what others wanted and how I didn't want them to perceive me. On the OUTSIDE it looked like I was all together. I maintained the look of success and happiness, while getting lost in the perception of society. On the INSIDE I was screaming for help going through a world of mixed emotions. I wanted a fairy godmother to magically save me from the HELL I was enduring.

It took months for me to SAVE MYSELF. It was when I Developed a MEDITATION practice I began to see things differently. I knew that my situation was not how life was suppose to be.
I was not Meant to succumb to my surroundings and be like others. I was meant to be MYSELF. My PATH is not one with THEM but with ME. I watched people stay in miserable relationships because of the fear of thoughts and perceptions. One day , I woke up and I said I chose to be happy. I remember that day so clearly. It was the best feeling in the world. I ended things with my ex that day. He wasn't so happy and I was so nervous because thoughts started to creep but I knew that this isn't what life is about.

Life isn't about being miserable. It's about being Happy. It's about Being able to Be You! It's about Loving Yourself! It's being at Peace no matter what.

I knew my new journey would not be easy because I would miss our routine. We shared a lot of time together and we made our lives one. However, the feeling of starting over made it all so easy. It felt good not being in a dark place. It felt good to finally be happy. It felt good to feel again. It felt nice for Justin to see me truly Happy. He was one of the reason why I stayed in the relationship with my ex. He wanted me to be married and I wanted to give him that. He wanted me to have everything his dad had. His dad is married and Justin wanted that for me. He would have talks with his Dad about me and my ex getting married. He would also talk about our fights and me not being happy. All he wanted was another Dad because he already had two moms. 😔

He knew I wasn't happy. I didn't think he knew, one because of his age ( he was 6 at the time) and two I thought I hid it well. When I finally chose me. He said to me. It's okay if you're not with Trey anymore I like that you're not arguing and that you're smiling again.

That meant the world to me. Because everything I do is for him. Every choice I make is so that I won't disappoint him. I know that's not reality. It took me some time to see that. We will disappoint our children because disappointment is apart of life. We have to teach them how to cope, adjust to it, then move forward. The one thing I know that I taught Justin from this situation is being happy and putting yourself first emotionally.

As parents we always make things about our children. Wanting to do and be the best for them. Not realizing that they could just want us to be Happy. Even though he wanted me to be married to Trey. Justin wanted me to be Happy first and if being Happy didn't include Trey he was okay with that. Through all of this I'm glad he had his dad to share his feelings with. His dad shared with me how Justin felt and that made my proud of my decision.

This post was suppose to be short and simple. As you can see I allowed my thoughts and words the chance to be. Now, getting back to the topic the little things. This conversation although I did not want to have with my ex, it allowed me to say how I always felt. He finally listened. I wished him well Thanked him.

I Thanked him because the relationship I had with him started me on my path to True Self Love and Self Forgiveness. Our conversation was a reminder of a place where I never want to go back to. I am truly happy where I am. 😊

I am no longer that young woman who changes herself so people can like or love her. I am the Woman I Want to Be and Was Destined to Be. I am Being Me.

It's The Little Things… it's not your typical little thing but it sure will have you reflecting.

Happy Monday 😘

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For some reason my theme for these past few weeks is “I do it because of my kids”. There are many things in life we do for our kids. We make sure they have, are well taken care of, and pretty much don’t want for anything. We all want the best for our children and want our children to see us in a good way. 

Well sorry to burst your bubble no parent is perfect. We all make mistakes. I know I make them. 

I acknowledge my mistakes, I accept them, I learn from them, and I make the necessary changes to be a better person and parent. 

So many people around me are making decisions based on what they believe their children will think of them or how they don’t want to disappoint their kids.

Don’t make decisions based on your own perceptions. I think our children would rather see us happy than miserable. 

Be Happy 😊 

Bring your Child to Work Day

So, last month in April it was bring your child to work day. Did I bring Justin with me? Why, of course I did. He was so excited to miss school for the day and to see what its like being a teacher. Within two hours he understood why, when I come home, I like for it to be silent for at least twenty minutes. He said to me “ Wow, mom you do a lot of talking and the kids really don’t listen to you that much”. I laughed and said to him “ you’re right, I do, and they don’t”. What can I expect from  four and five year olds. I appreciate that he understands why I may come home frustrated sometimes. I think its a great thing when your child can understand you, not only as a parent, but as the other roles you play in life.

While working with me, Justin was asked to explain and talk about autism to a group of students. He was nervous and very hesitant about talking. He started out as “ So, what do you want to know”. I smiled, stood up and decided to help him explain what autism is. After I spoke to the children explaining autism, Justin spoke about what it is like having it. I remember him saying “ I’m just like you guys, you know, but I’m just a little different. I like things a certain way and I learned how to like new things”. After we finished his talk, some of the students and teachers asked questions. Justin answered them to the best of his ability. Speaking about our life felt so rewarding. We both enjoyed sharing our experience with autism.

So, as we’re walking to my classroom, Justin says to me, “You know Mom, a lot of my classmates do not believe I have autism, so can we talk to them like we talked to the people today?” Uh oh, what did I start? Because he was such a trooper today, I told him yes we can. So we are scheduled to talk to his classmates next week. Wish us luck!