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There are many times to where I am amazed at the way Justin thinks. We’ve been talking about doing things that make him happy. At first Justin did not want to do Marching Band. But once he gave it a shot he fell in love with it.

Because the upperclassmen doesn’t like the new Marching Band teacher most of them wants to quit.

So I asked Justin does he want to quit?

His response: ” No, I’m not quitting because I don’t like the teacher, I’m doing Marching Band because I Love Music”

Despite what’s around him he plans to continue to do what he loves. He doesn’t like the negativity of his friends talking about the teacher so he said he just listen and does what’s best for him.

👀😳 I was amazed.

I said Wow Justin, it takes some people years to learn how to do things for what they have a passion for and not follow others.

He said, well you teach me to do what I love and stick to it. You also allow me to be myself and do what makes me happy.

That was truly a proud Mommy moment. Sometimes I question if I’m doing a good job and from the talks of it. I am. 😊

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Do It! Because it’s What You Want to do!!

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Yesterday, my sisters and I had the great pleasure of spending time with Baby Kennedi together. She was very cranky which we believe was because she was gassy and not moving her bowels easily. So we each took turns rocking her and calming her. However, it seemed that every time I rocked her she would calm down faster and fall asleep faster.

My middle sister kept laughing and saying it’s because you have the twin connection with her dad. So she’s use to your touch 🤦🏽‍♀️. It really makes you wonder, can a baby realize that there is a twin connection between their parent and their twin? ( I hope that makes sense)

When Justin was a baby he did have a great relationship with my brother. They spent a lot of time together and still do. My twin was the first male in Justin’s life and is who he remembers when he was young. I remember them always laughing together and relaxing together. If I recall well I believe my brothers name was his first word ” Keith”. Yup! He said Keith before he said Mom. Justin didn’t say mom until he was three and half almost four. I longed to hear those words but he knew who I was.

When Justin was little they said he looked like my brother and now that Kennedi is here, I’m getting that she looks like me.

What are the odds? Lol.

Hmmm, I still wonder. I guess I continue to test the theory with Kennedi and reflect back to when Justin was little.

What do you guys think?

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My sister is living in her purpose and has become a photographer. Today Justin will have a photo shoot with her capturing all of emotions he goes through throughout the day. I didn’t tell him about until Just now and boy oh boy I can feel the anxieties flowing.

He’s like:

What is it for?

What do I have to do?

Is this for the blog?

What emotions should I do?

I’m sure in his mind he’s really like, you pulled me out of Band practice for this! When I told him it was for a project, he said okay. But I can still feel his anxiety. I’m very mindful of what I say and how I say things to him. I don’t dismiss my emotions because I’m entitled to feel the way I do they same way I allow him to express them.

On another note. Wish us Luck! Today will be a great day because I Believe it will be. 😊

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The Sneaker Print.

I was pretty poetic back then. I still am. I just have written that way in a while. Recently, I was looking over Justin’s Birthday’s over the years and I found his first Birthday Thank You Card. I was a new mom didn’t have much money so I needed to cut cost. I was very creative and always had ideas. So I decided to make the Thank you cards instead of buying them and having to mail them out. I created a Poem, took Justin’s sneaker and placed his sneaker print inside the card and gave them a picture of him. Everyone loved it. They couldn’t believe I wrote the card and came up with it. People thought my mom did it being that she’s so creative as well. But it was all my handy work. 😊

Check it out below.

Justin at his first birthday party. It was a cookout. He was teething. He never cried or fussed, he just grabbed the ice and calmed his gums.

His 1 year old pic. We took this at Sears Portrait Studio. They fell in love with his smile. He loved smiling and taking pictures back then. Now! I can forget about taking a picture.

The Thank You Card, The picture above went inside the Card

The Message! ❤️💙

BELIEVE IT!

I AM ONE NOW

FORGET ABOUT THE PAST

WHEN I WAS JUST A BABY

YOU THOUGHT I WAS

SO CUTE AND SWEET

I COULDN’T WAIT FOR

THOSE DAYS TO BE OVER

BECAUSE I JUST LOVE

TO GET INTO EVERYTHING

I USE TO HEAR

OOHS! AND AHHS!

NOW I HEAR

NO’s AND UH OH’S

YOU MAY NOT HAVE

SEEN ME IN ACTION

SO I LEFT MY PRINT

FOR YOU TO IN VISION

THE B E A UTIFUL

SOUNDS OF MY

MOMMY SCREAMING

Written by Keena White 2004

The card. I had Justin help me color it by holding his hand. I originally wanted to use his foot print but Justin wasn’t fond of soft textures. So, the original plan didn’t pan out however I think the back up one came out well.

Oh the memories.

Check us out on Facebook and Instagram… Autismpsychologyspirituality!!!

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The odds of her arriving on her due date are very rare but she is here. She was born on her cousins birthday, who’s mom happens to be her fathers twin.

8/30/17 Kennedi Rae

8/30/03 Justin Aryn

Their Parents Keith and Keena. I some how didn’t smile until I got older.

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Some decisions are hard to make but when you make your finally decision. There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you made the decision for you.

Justin had a hard decision to make two weeks ago. He wanted to join Marching Band for his first year of High School. Yup! I now have a high school student. He missed several practices in July due to going home for the summer with his Dad. So August 14 was his first day of March Band Camp, it was a long day and boy oh boy, was he exhausted. He complained and I calmly listened and told him to think about things and give Marching Band a chance at least for the first week. He agreed, prepared for the next day and then got ready for bed.

I felt a little uneasy when I woke up in the morning. Couldn’t put my finger on exactly why I was feeling that way until both Justin and I walked out the door. You see, marching band practice is right in our backyard. Well his old school is, it’s so close it only takes Justin two minutes to get there. As I’m walking to the car, Justin is walking to practice, my mommy radar kicked in on high alert. I knew I had to remain calm because he was in a crisis and he needed help deciding what to do.

So I took a deep breath and asked him what’s wrong. He said ” I’m late and I don’t want to get in trouble”, he’s breathing really fast while he’s saying this. He’s also hiding so they can’t see him. I said okay, “what would you like to do?”, He said ” I want to go home, I don’t think I want to do this anymore.” I gave him a hug and told him to go home and relax and to not worry about things I’ll email the teacher. He thanked me about a millions times 😊.

I emailed the teacher letting her know about Justin’s feelings, she asked if we can meet and I agreed. Before we can meet the teacher Justin received so many text messages from his band mates. Some messages was nice and some not so nice. I was pissed because these messages was making Justin’s decision even harder to make. I’ll admit so of his mates were supportive while others were very mean.

When I mentioned this to the Marching Band Teacher it was passed off as just kids being kids. I get that but we need to teach our children to be supportive and to not make other children feel bad about making decisions for their future. After talking to his past Band Teacher and now his current teacher Justin decided to stay.

He made the decision on his own. I took his phone away so he can clearly think without the criticism or judgment. I listened to his feelings and reservations about being apart of marching band. He was happy with his decision and for now decided to only do it this school year.

I’m proud he made the best decision for him.

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I’ve decided to write Justin short letter picture quotes from me. I would like for it to be some thing that he can read throughout life to know my thinking process as his mom and to use it for encouragement when life gets the bear of him. Life wasn’t always easy for us and to this day we still have our moments. The world around us seem to be cruel and unfair to those of color. Some may not agree or thing so but it’s the truth.

As Justin watch the news he have questions that are only right for him to ask. Why are things so unfair for those who are black? Why are so many black people being murdered by cops? Why are black people judged so much when people of other races can do the same thing we do? The list of why’s continues. Some days I have straight forward answers while other days I don’t because I get frustrated having to explain to my son that life isn’t fair to people of color due to history. Some history isn’t told accurately while others is. I also explain to him that just because society is filled with greed, hate, and people’s need to control. We don’t stoop down to ignorance because we are better than what we are hated for.

Despite, what I say the world displays reasons why he should still question things and be mindful when he leaves the house, because life just isn’t fair to blacks no matter how free we are.

Happy Reading Justin.

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Today I got to be there for a friend I haven't spoken to in years. We were the best of friends and still is. I did feel some type of way because we haven't spoke and I've always reached out and never heard back from her. After, speaking to her today I now understand why. She truly had a lot going on and allowed her Pride to get the best of her. I share her struggle because I too at times allow my pride to get the best of me. I listened as she shared with me what's going on. I provided her with words of encouragement and let her know that I love her and will always be there for her.

You truly never know what a person is going through no matter how much you think you know them.

It's nice being able to listen without Judgement and to be fully present and there for a person.

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I can't believe in a years time Justin has grown to be my height all the way up to a few inches shy of his fathers height. The doctor did say that Justin would get taller but I thought I had some time being that boys stop growing at 19. Also, because Justin was my height, I knew it's going to take some time for him to get taller than me. It didn't dawn on me that it would happen in the matter of minutes. This time last year Justin was 5'3 1/2" now he is roughly 6'0. That's a lot of inches in one year. I swear I wanted to cry because it seemed like I was buying new clothes every other month. Thank God, his feet didn't grow much 😊.

Check out his growth. Justin with his Father.

Jan/Feb 2016 June 2017