What’s the use of patterns? Think about it. 🤔How often do we use patterns? ❤️💙❤️💙❤️

When growing  up you learn how to make patterns. You learn how to make simple patterns to complex patterns. You make short patterns even long ones. You make extended patterns and even make a new pattern.

Does the knowledge of patterns prepare us for the patterns we endure in life.

Now in life we experience patterns. We experience many patterns. We can go through simple patterns like the ones we learn in school and this can consist of our thinking, daily routines , how we handle small situations, and the little quirks about us. Then we have our more complex patterns and these patterns, are our relationships, money, and life. The complex patterns happen as we get older. We can choose to add on to these patterns, omit from them or create an entirely new pattern.

These past few months the theme around me seem to be breaking and creating new patterns. I’ve been breaking patterns and habits and so have many of my friends as well as clients. I’ve found that many people repeat patterns because the outcome is always the same making it familiar and easy to manage. Some people don’t want to break these patterns because of it’s familiarity. What is familiar, helps us feel safe and secure. It’s because we know what’s next.

I use to love familiarity. Always knowing what was happening next helped me be in control. So repeating wasn’t so bad as long as I knew the outcome and I was in control. However, I realized it was a problem, because of this pattern I didn’t know how to adapt to new things being placed on my path. I’d have panic attacks and start thinking the worse possible things ever. I’d cry for days, wanted to be alone, and didn’t know how I was going to adapt. I realized that I needed to change and to learn new patterns of thinking. It all started with my thinking. Once I changed my thinking I changed my patterns. I added and omitted what was or wasn’t working. I felt like a new person. I love change now and love creating new patterns.

There are some patterns I still repeat because I haven’t quite changed that part of thinking that controls this particular behavior. But once I change my thinking, I will create a new behavior and then add to my pattern.

Some patterns are okay to repeat but it must be healthy patterns. Understand that Opportunities may be missed if you stay in a pattern because of its predictability.  If you want change, change your patterns that causes unwanted behaviors.

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It’s always great when you make the first step to NO longer repeat a  Pattern … it’s not easy but when you break it… What a Blessing and Revelation it is. I’m breaking many old habits that are no longer beneficial to me. I never broke these patterns before because I was always concerned about the other person over myself. Not realizing that I was never a concern to them they way they were to me. It’s never easy putting yourself first when most of your life you repeatedly give to others. The word NO wasn’t a word that I utilized frequently. The word YES however was. So many people would say No to me or find a way to disappoint me and I’d accept it. I’d accept it because it was how they felt or what they said at the time and I couldn’t fault them because it was what it was.  

But now I’m changing these patterns I’m putting myself and my happiness first. I’m slowly removing the people and behaviors that no longer serve me. One pattern and behavior I’m breaking is being readily there for people. When I tell you I’m there for people I give my all to people. These same people never check on me to see if I’m okay or if I need anything. It’s always about them and always have been.  So I’m giving less of myself to them. I’ll help and be there for them when I feel that I wish to. I will no longer feel guilty for not being there when I don’t have to. I know some may see it as I’m being selfish and I chose to do these things for people.  This is true but I also choose myself and I see how people treat me and it hurts and I’m not going to continue to allow people to treat me that way. 

People do to us what we allow them to do. This quote is so true and will be a quote I will never forget. 

Its okay to do for others but don’t allow others to take advantage of you. Make sure that they show genuine appreciation for what you’ve done for them. This appreciation is not just for your satisfaction but it shows that they have genuine respect and admiration for you being what you are to them.  

Breaking Patterns Part One 

There’s more patterns to be broken.  Stay tuned