Many say that I am defiant. Defiant in both a good and bad way.
It’s just… I like doing the opposite of what people say that I shouldn’t do or can’t do.
My defiance is what helps me defy the odds.
My defiance is a good quality I possess because I will defy any odd by not listening to what people think I should do or suggest how I should live my life.
I am Defiant and Proud. ~ DoctorK
Today is day two of my water 💦 fast.
Last night my head was killing. I’m not going to lie I wanted to eat just so that I could relieve the pain but I didn’t. I meditated and then took a shower for about an hour. I also meditated in the shower, it definitely helped a great deal. I felt so at is and it probably because my focus was not on my pain but on my breath.
This morning I did feel a little nauseous but a drink of water helped me feel better. Justin really doesn’t like it when I feel bad. He tried to cater to my every need but he knows I am fasting, so the only thing he could do is bring me a class of water. 😊
I must say I had a lot of clarity last night. Visions of the future appeared to me. I have a lot to look forward to and is excited about it.
Oh I forgot, day two last time was horrible. I was weak barely wanted to get up out of bed. I couldn’t even do my workout until later that evening. Because out of no where at the end of the day I got this burst of energy and completed a full body workout. I felt great after I completed my workout. I was ready for the next day. I didn’t get a workout in this morning but I will this evening.
I got this!! Motivated to keep going
Happy Tuesday 😘
Today was a day of little moments that made me push through the day to get a lesson I know I needed to learn once in that moment. I was tired due to not feeling so well, so I was debating on canceling my sessions today with my clients but something told me not to.
Well I’m glad I didn’t give into my feelings of tiredness because I learned a lesson during one of my sessions with my client. We’re going through transition because he no longer needs me. He’s doing well and I’m proud of his progress. So we’re doing goodbye letters for one another and I got asked what did I learn from our time together. I had to really think for a moment because he had walls that was so hard to break through but I got through them. I learned patience on a completely different level, how to have more compassion than I have now, and my own personal strengths.
As I therapist I don’t care how experienced you are in the back of your mind you always wonder if you have the capability to truly Help someone mentally. I learn many things about myself through the various experiences with my clients. I’m so happy and proud with my clients when they make connections that they feel they will never make. I truly love what I do.
It has taken me years to love who I truly am and I’m still learning to love all aspect of me. Including the aspects I’m still struggling to change like my weight but I’m getting there. In a few days I will share my 21 Days of 21 Days. I’ve made great progress and I’m continuing on my journey.
It takes a lot to love every part of you. We allow others to get in our heads to change our view of ourselves, we allow our past to dictate who we think we are or suppose to be, we let society define us well, we let labels classify, and the list of definitions go on.
Who are you exactly? Are you what people think you are? Or are you just a human being traveling this world of life trying to figure out what the hell you are suppose to be doing here?
Lol. It doesn’t matter what you think or what others think. It doesn’t matter the journey forward or your horrible past. All that matters is, when you’re present you love who you are in all of its entirety so that you can love others equally.
Namaste
Is Honesty the best policy? I hear they say it is. People would rather you be honest than lie. I like honesty because it allows me to learn more about myself and be aware of things. At times I may not like the approach or the delivery of the honesty but I respect it.
This past week I’ve been very honest with a lot of people in my life. It’s seems that honesty from me is not what they’re use to hearing. Well I think it had everything to do with my delivery. I really haven’t been delivering my dose of honesty nicely. It’s because I’ve been frustrated and emotionally overwhelmed. When you’re everyone’s go to listening person, everyone dumps their stories onto you forgetting that you have feelings or maybe going through your own personal dilemmas.
Not one person truly asked me if I was okay and if I needed anything in return. I have to either post something on social media or say I’m not doing so well. I don’t get the check in, they way I check in on them. Its always about their story and what they are going through. When I reach out no one truly listens. I get ignored and it’s frustrating because I give the same people my undivided attention no matter what. I’m the bad guy right now because no one is really talking to me at this moment and I’m okay with it. I feel like I need a break from everyone in my life at this moment. I need to create the balance in my life and the silence will do it.
I keep a lot in and I normally don’t express my feelings fully. I think that’s what is hindering my personal and professional growth. Expression. There’s so much that I want to say. I don’t say it and sometimes I do say but the wrongs ways. I’m learning more and more each day. It’s not that I don’t know how to communicate I think it’s the feeling I get when I do communicate that no one is listening. If the people Near me doesn’t listen. How do I get others to listen? 🤔
Something to think about. In the end honesty is always the best policy. I think it’s how you approach and speak your honesty. I apologize to those who I may have offended but please understand that I’m not your Personal therapist because it’s my profession but I am your friend. So treat me as such the way I do you.
Now that I got that off my chest. Happy Monday Everyone.
Be Honest in Your Way as Long as Your Honest with Yourself.
In life everything is a give and take or some form of trade off. If there is no equal give and take, or trade off then then an unbalance occurs. When an unbalance occurs, balance seeks order. It’s seeks order not to control but so that all things are fair.
I’m feeling a little off balanced. I have been feeling this way for a few months now. I realized why this week and I’m finally starting to do something about it. I haven’t focused on myself the way I should be. I’ve been focused on being there for people emotionally and physically that I have stopped being there for myself. I cannot fault or blame them for my feelings of unbalance simply because I allow it. I allow my need for always wanting to be there for others overshadow what I need to do for myself.
My goal now is to get balanced and focus on me.
Happy Saturday!
Are you balanced?!
So here’s an update of my progress.
So far I’m down 4lbs in 8 days. 😊👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I’m very proud of myself. I believed I’ve hit a plateau but I guess I did not. I’m glad to see progress no matter how small it is. So I am now 232. My goal is 210 by my birthday in 27 days. I may not reach the goal by my target 🎯 date but it will be reached no matter what. I won’t give up on myself.
I still have been eating late and that’s only because I haven’t been eating much during the day. But I have been working out, Meditating, and Practicing Mindfulness daily. It feels good to be consistent with things and make the changes I wish to make for myself.
Continue to wish me luck!!! I’ll be back with an update in a few day 
In the 21 Days I will be consistent with my workout routine making it a new habit. I will be breaking my bad habit of eating unhealthy foods and eating late at night. Well I will eat things in moderation, which I do, come to think of it. It’s just when I’m emotional or exhausted I can tend to overeat in snacks.
I will also be consistent with my meditation routine, writing my blog, and working on my goals. I swear I get so entangled with the lives of others I don’t tend to my goals the way I should be.
I will write later about Day 1 and a Recap of D2!!!
Hope everyone is having a Great Day!
Blessings
Wish me Luck!!
So I’m told it takes 21 Days to Break or Make a Habit. So I’m going to put it to the test. I’ve been struggling with my weight for the past 10 years. Ten years ago I got to my ideal weight and then I let myself go. I didn’t let myself completely go I just stopped with my healthy eating and working out.
I was so swamped with work, school, and being in an unhappy relationship that I didn’t do what was necessary to take care of myself. I’ve been on a healthy journey for a year now and I have a few more pounds to go that I keep playing around with.
It’s like for a few weeks I do well and keep the weight off and continues making progress. But then it takes a party or I get tired or get overwhelmed with work and then everything goes 👎🏽. 
A few months ago I made a deal with a really special friend and I don’t want to let him down.
I can’t quite say what the deal is but I haven’t been keeping my end of the bargain. This week he reminded me of that and it was what I needed to hear. The truth is I haven’t been doing what I set out to do and so my goal of accomplishing my weight keeps getting pushed back into another month.
I’m starting today. No more going up and down. I will be committed to my goal. I will accomplish my goal in 35 days which by the way will be my Birthday 😊. I’m currently 236 and my goal is 210 for now. I know it’s a lot to lose in 35 days but I know I can do it. I’ve down it before I just now have to be committed to doing it.
So in order to stick to my commitment I will track my journey for 21 days. I’m not sure if I’ll post daily or every few days but I will update you guys on my progress. It will definitely hold me accountable. Wish me luck!!
I can do anything that I put my mind to!!
When growing up you learn how to make patterns. You learn how to make simple patterns to complex patterns. You make short patterns even long ones. You make extended patterns and even make a new pattern.
Now in life we experience patterns. We experience many patterns. We can go through simple patterns like the ones we learn in school and this can consist of our thinking, daily routines , how we handle small situations, and the little quirks about us. Then we have our more complex patterns and these patterns, are our relationships, money, and life. The complex patterns happen as we get older. We can choose to add on to these patterns, omit from them or create an entirely new pattern.
These past few months the theme around me seem to be breaking and creating new patterns. I’ve been breaking patterns and habits and so have many of my friends as well as clients. I’ve found that many people repeat patterns because the outcome is always the same making it familiar and easy to manage. Some people don’t want to break these patterns because of it’s familiarity. What is familiar, helps us feel safe and secure. It’s because we know what’s next.
I use to love familiarity. Always knowing what was happening next helped me be in control. So repeating wasn’t so bad as long as I knew the outcome and I was in control. However, I realized it was a problem, because of this pattern I didn’t know how to adapt to new things being placed on my path. I’d have panic attacks and start thinking the worse possible things ever. I’d cry for days, wanted to be alone, and didn’t know how I was going to adapt. I realized that I needed to change and to learn new patterns of thinking. It all started with my thinking. Once I changed my thinking I changed my patterns. I added and omitted what was or wasn’t working. I felt like a new person. I love change now and love creating new patterns.
There are some patterns I still repeat because I haven’t quite changed that part of thinking that controls this particular behavior. But once I change my thinking, I will create a new behavior and then add to my pattern.
Autism Psychology Spirituality 